Breathe
by SolitaireBlue
Summary: The first time their lips touched was not how she had imagined it would be. She at least thought he would have been conscious.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi! This is my first story and I don't really know what I'm doing. Anyways, it's thinking season 3 Goren and Eames for this. I don't own anything except the storyline.**

 **The first time their lips touched was not how she had imagined it would be. She at least thought he would have been conscious.**

Ten minutes ago, they were speaking with a potential suspect.

Six minutes ago, they were still on that pier.

Anthony Tronowski was not a big man. Well, he wasn't compared to Bobby. At five foot eleven maybe a good hundred and seventy pounds or so, Tronowski was not exactly deemed a physical threat by Bobby Goren. But a little boy bumping into Eames was a convenient distraction for Tronowski rid himself of his bigger obstacle.

And now Alex Eames finds herself here, leaning over her partner and trying to stay calm.

Thank God they weren't all the way up the pier. Thank God they weren't too close to the beach. Thank God the pier wasn't too high off the water…

She was surprisingly able to drag him far enough up the beach that the tide only reached his ankles. Must be the adrenaline.

The bus is on its way but he's not breathing.

"Bobby?" She manages to get out.

His pulse is faint but it's there. _It's there_.

She rips open his shirt, not even bothering to to undo the buttons. It's a shame. This was her favorite shirt of his. Blue looks great on him. But she's got a job to do.

 _1..2..3..4…_

 _Breathe_.

This is the first time she's seen his bare chest. It's exactly like she imagined. Broad, muscular, with just a dusting of chest hair.

 _15..16..17…_

 _Breathe Bobby._

 _29..30…_

 _Breathe damnit!_

That's how their lips first meet. His are unresponsive and salty from the sea water. Hers have a purpose. Just trying to get him to _breathe_.

"Bobby."

His hair is wet and it's the the curliest she's ever seen it. She's always loved his hair. And the salt and pepper look he's got going looks really good.

She pushes on his chest again.

 _1..2..3…_

"Come on, Bobby."

 _Come on._

She can't help but wish this was a different scenario. One where they were on a tropical vacation (even though he hates the beach). She would be sitting beside him, watching the tide roll in. He'd be reading about bee pollination or something, when suddenly he'd set his book down, pick her up out of her beach chair, and sling her over his shoulder to carry her out into the calm blue waters. Despite her protests, he'd throw her into the ocean, where he'd laugh (a sound she doesn't get to hear often enough). He'd extend his hand to help her up but she'd pull him right down in with her. He'd cut off her giggly laughter by putting an arm around her waist and kissing her senseless.

But instead, he lays in front of her, half dead. _Half alive._

 _12..13..14..15…_

"Bobby!" A tear escapes her eye and she has to remind herself that there's still hope.

 _Don't cry. Not yet. It's not over yet._

She knows if she lost him, she wouldn't be able to handle it. She already lost one man she loved. She's not prepared to lose another.

 _25..26..27..28…_

And again she breathes into him, placing her mouth on his.

Would if this is the only time their lips will ever meet? At least she got to know what it feels like even if they don't count as actual kisses.

 _Wake up, Bobby._

What she wouldn't give to see those brown eyes look up at her.

 _1..2..3..4…_

"Please, Bobby." She's desperate now.

He'll never know how much he means to her. He's the reason she comes to work every day. At first she thought he was as crazy as everyone said but after she really looked at him, really saw him, she knew he was amazing. Gifted. And then she fell in love with him. But he will ever know that if doesn't wake up.

 _19..20..21..22-_

His head moves slightly. It's such a small movement, she thought she imagined it. But then his head jerks to the side and he begins to cough.

"Bobby." She breathes.

She lets out a sigh of relief and smooths back his hair from his face as he gets the water he swallowed out of his system.

"Eames." He whispers.

She has to let out a breathy laugh. She's never been so happy to hear him call her that.

"Yeah."

 _There are those brown eyes._

He gives a small smile. "You can't get rid of me that easy."

She smiles back, wiping the tears from her eyes and tucks her wet hair behind her ears. "You scared the hell out of me, Bobby. I thought you were gone."

"You brought me back."

 **A/N: I would really like to continue. What do you think? Reviews please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back! Thank you for the lovely reviews! I'm so excited to continue this. Again, I don't own anything but the storyline.**

 **The first time their lips touched was how she had imagined it would be. She at least thought he would have been conscious.**

He missed his chance.

Correction: _Chances_. Plural.

He should have told her at the beach after she saved his life. Or at the hospital. Or three and a half hours ago when she dropped him off at home. But he let those opportunities slip by.

Would it really be that hard to say three little words?

 _Yes_.

If she didn't feel the same way, a number of things could happen:

Things could be awkward at work.

She could request a new partner.

He could have to go to work everyday and see the woman he loved and know she felt nothing for him.

 _But would if she did?_

When he came to, she had both relief and tears in her eyes.

 _Her partner almost died. Who wouldn't be emotional over that?_

But she stroked his hair while they waited for the ambulance. That could mean nothing though. It was a soothing gesture and it took his mind off his headache (damn concussion). It's just that they hardly ever touched. Not that he doesn't want to touch her because he definitely does.

He occasionally forgets his rule of not touching her and takes her by the elbow when he needs to lean in close to tell her something for her ears only. Or he'll unconsciously place his hand on the small of her back to direct her somewhere. But he usually realizes his error quickly by putting a safe distance between them because he's afraid that once he starts, once he allows himself to feel her, that he won't be able to stop.

He can't get over how she actually managed to get his six-foot-four self up the shore as far as she did. She's honestly the single greatest person he's ever met in his life. She looked so beautiful too for having just been in the ocean. But then again, this is Alex Eames we're talking about, she always looks beautiful.

Sometimes when he's sitting at his desk, he'll take a break from his paperwork and just look at her. He studies her features so that he never forgets what she looks like. They don't have enough pictures of the two of them together (something he would like to change). There's just the one he took of them with that Polaroid camera a few years ago. It's his favorite bookmark.

The CPR. She would have been pressing on his bare chest and her mouth would have been on his. God how he wishes he had been awake for the mouth to mouth part.

He did notice a shift in her at the hospital though. When he asked her what exactly happened while he was out, she only stated the facts. She gave the cop answer. It was almost as if she were giving her statement for IAB or something.

They were talking with someone they believed had a motive for killing the victim. A boy bumped into her. The suspect used the distraction to his advantage and pushed Bobby through the railing. She apprehended the suspect quickly thanks to an teenager who stuck his foot out to trip him as he fled. She ran back to the spot where Bobby went over but didn't see him in the water. She jumped in. Found him slowly sinking beneath the waves. Grabbed him, swam them to shore. Dragged him up the shore. Called for a bus and began CPR.

However in the hospital, she could hardly look at him. He actually had to ask her what was wrong.

 _"Nothing." She had said. "Just glad you're okay."_

 _"Thanks to you."_

He was able to convince her to go home for a good nights sleep in her own bed. (Just to be safe, the doctor wanted to keep him overnight.)

 _"Yeah, I could use a shower too. I've got sand in places I would rather it not be."_ She always was able to make him laugh.

Before she left, she graced him with a smile. _"Goodnight Bobby. I'll bust you out of here tomorrow."_

True to her word, she did just that. She drove him home, he thanked her.

And he watched as she drove away.

 _Idiot_.

Deakins visited the hospital shortly after he got there, telling him to feel better and that he better not see he and Eames until Monday.

So now, as he sits here on his sofa, contemplating what he's going to do for the next two days, he comes to the realization that he isn't going to be able to stop thinking about what he should've said and should've done when he had the chance.

He watched her leave three times.

And not once did he say the words he's wanted to say for God knows how long.

He really doesn't know if he could go the rest of his life as just partners. He wants more. _So much more._

He grabs his keys.

 **A/N: Let me know what you think! Reviews please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: We are at chapter three people! I'm so happy to have gotten such a positive response for my first story.**

 **The first time their lips touched was not how it had imagined it would be. She at least thought he would have been conscious.**

She missed her chance.

Or _chances_ , rather.

As she followed behind the flashing lights of the ambulance, she realized that she could never tell him. This job, their partnership, was too important to him. If he didn't share the same feelings, they wouldn't be able to work together. He would think that the only partner that's stayed with him has ulterior motives for being there.

 _Well, that's partially true._

But she couldn't do that to him. Ruin something that he might never have again with somebody else. It would just end up in one big mess.

He would have to know that the woman sitting across from him has feelings for him that he will never have for her. Every time he would look at her, he would see a pathetic detective who fell in love with the first man she's really developed a friendship with since her husband died.

 _Not to mention he's her partner._

He would probably be afraid to go through the 'breaking in a new partner' process again, so he would stick it out with her. And she would feel obligated to stay because no one else would understand him like her.

She doesn't want that for them.

Again, a big mess.

In his hospital room, she found herself unable to look at him. Each time she caught sight of him, she saw the man she loved and remembered her decision in the car.

 _He can never know._

So she just decided not to look at him at all.

He noticed, of course. He is the most observant man she's ever met.

 _"Is everything alright?"_

She snapped out of her thoughts at his question, saying that she was glad he was okay.

 _"Thanks to you."_ He's also the sweetest man she's ever met.

He got her to go home. She thought about fighting him on it but she really wanted time to clear her head. She promised him that she would be back the next day to bust him out.

She had a hard time getting to sleep last night. She allowed herself to comfort him by running her fingers through his hair as they waited for the ambulance on the beach. She probably shouldn't have done that since they didn't really touch. He didn't tell her to stop though.

 _He was still pretty out of it, Alex._

Could he have feelings for her? No. No, he doesn't.

 _Does he?_

Alex Eames now has two fears:

The first, that he would always know her secret if she was dumb enough to tell him.

The second, that he would never know her secret if she was dumb enough not to tell him.

She dropped him off at home a few hours ago. He thanked her, she drove away.

 _Another opportunity missed._

She's staring at the ceiling right now.

She can go the rest of her life as just partners with him. Right?

She'll call him later to see how he's doing. They're off for two more days (thank you, Jimmy Deakins). She thought she would be able to clear her head but that idea was short lived.

There's a knock on the door. At first she thinks it's her sister but Liz would have texted her before stopping by.

She almost doesn't recognize him in shorts and a t shirt.

"Eames, hey."

 **A/N: Don't forget to review ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews!**

 **The first time their lips touched was not how she had imagined it would be. She at least thought he would have been conscious.**

"Hey."

His mind goes blank as soon as she opens the door.

He's doesn't usually see her with her hair up. It rests on the top of her head in a messy bun. She stands before him wearing an NYPD t shirt about two sizes too big, covering most of her black athletic shorts. She's not wearing socks or shoes either. He never pegged her for a pink toenails kind of girl.

By the way she's dressed (not that he's complaining) and her lack of makeup (not that he's complaining), he can tell she wasn't expecting to have visitors after she dropped him off at home. Not that he cares. She still looks so _pretty_. She could be wearing a trash bag and he'd still feel the same.

Then, he sees her expression.

 _She's tense._

After a few seconds, he's finally able to get himself to speak. "Sorry, is this a bad time?" He looks easily over her head and into her apartment but doesn't think anyone else is inside.

She shakes her head and steps back to let him in. "No, no, it's not a bad time."

"I was wondering if I could treat you to take out tonight." When she snaps her head up to look at him but doesn't say anything, he gets a little nervous. "T-to say thank you." Maybe he should've actually asked her out. "Or we could do something else if you'd like."

Her eyes quickly fall to the floor and she moves to the sofa. "Oh, Bobby, you don't need to do anything thank me."

"Of course I do." He sits down beside her but he knows something just isn't right. "Alex?" He tries out her first name and it obviously comes as a surprise to her. He head perks up but she still doesn't look at him. "Is something wrong?"

She shakes her head. "No, I'm fine."

 _Bull_.

"I don't think you are. You haven't looked me in the eye since the beach."

"Leave it alone, Bobby." Her voice is stern. She's using her detective voice but he's not about to 'leave it alone.' He came here for a reason.

"Eames."

"Please. Just-"

"Something changed with you between the beach and the hospital. What was it?"

"Nothing." Her voice cracks and so does his heart. He notices that she's blinking faster.

 _She's fighting off tears. What the hell happened?_

He desperately wants to reach out hold her shaking hands but he knows he'll probably scare her off.

"Eames, come on. Talk to me." He says softly.

She tenses even more. "Nothing happened, Bobby! It's none of your business anyway. You're my partner. Why do you even care?"

 _Why wouldn't he care?_

He was beginning to think they should postpone this conversation for a later date but it's out before he can stop himself.

"I love you."

 _So much for trying not to scare her._

 **A/N: One more chapter to go!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Prepare yourselves… This is the final chapter...**

 **The first time their lips touched was not how she had imagined it would be. She at least thought he would have been conscious.**

He said it.

He actually said it.

The words she's been dying to hear.

 _The words she'd been too scared to say._

She was in so much shock that she couldn't speak. She was paralyzed by his brown eyes. The last time she really took time to admire them was when he almost... But, their gaze is broken when he stands up and walks around the coffee table.

"I love you." He repeats. "It just happened over the years and I couldn't stop it. We're partners, I know that, and I know the rules. I-" He's pacing now. "You've saved me in more ways than one, you know? There's been quite a few times when I could've gone off the deep end but you pulled me back to the real world. You keep me grounded. And then you-you jump in the ocean after me an-and you save me again. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. There's been times when you could've left but you didn't, you stayed and I- You're my everything. I just- I can't take it anymore. I need you to know." He stops suddenly. "Jesus Alex, breathe."

A soft laugh escapes her lips. "It's funny. That's exactly what I kept telling you."

He remains there, rooted in his spot in front of her television. Absolutely no movement except the occasional blink of his eyes. This is the stillest she's ever seen him.

She makes her way over to him. His gaze follows her until she's directly in front of him. He becomes blurry and she realizes she's started tearing up.

She reaches up on her toes to pull him into a tight hug. His arms encircle her waist and she wonders if he feels the electricity too.

Her voice comes out shaky. "I should have told you the second you opened your eyes on the beach but I thought about it a-and I didn't want to ruin our partnership so I tried to keep my distance from you-"

He pulls back from her but still keep his hands on her waist.

"Should have told me what?"

She removes one hand from his shoulder to wipe her eyes.

"How I feel about you."

"How do you feel about me?"

 _Oh, right._

"I love you too."

"You love me."

 _So much._

She loves that he needs her to confirm what she just said. He's so Bobby.

She nods. "I love you."

A smile spreads across his handsome face just before swoops down and presses his lips to hers. One kiss turns into two, two kisses turn into three, each one growing in intensity until finally he picks her up and carries her down the hall.

They never did get around to ordering take out.

Lying here, next to him, she does not think of what kind of issues they might be running into shortly with work and conflicts of interest. They'll figure that out later. No, she thinks of how happy she is. How content she is right this moment, tracing random designs on his chest, her legs tangled in his. She knows they'll have to get up eventually but she doesn't want to think about that either.

Right now, she's happy watching the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

 **A/N: And we have reached the end! Thank you so much for reading and don't worry, this isn't the last you'll be hearing from me;) Please review and let me know what you think!**


End file.
